Ch. 1

Chinese Philosophy
In A Nutshell

A mathematician friend of mine recently told me of a mathematician friend of his who everyday “takes a nap”. Now, I never take naps. But I often fall asleep while reading — which is very different from deliberately taking a nap! I am far more like my dogs Peekaboo, Peekatoo and Trixie than like my mathematician friend once removed. These dogs never take naps; they merely fall asleep. They fall asleep wherever and whenever they choose (which, incidentally is most of the time!). Thus these dogs are true Sages.

I think this is all that Chinese philosophy is really about; the rest is mere elaboration! If you can learn to fall asleep without taking a nap, then you too will become a Sage. But if you can’t, you will find it not as easy as you might think. It takes discipline! But discipline in the Eastern, not Western style. Eastern discipline enables you to fall asleep rather than take a nap; Western discipline has you do the reverse. Eastern discipline trains you to “allow yourself” to sleep when you are sleepy; Western discipline teaches you to force yourself to sleep whether you are sleepy or not. Had I been Laotse, I would have added the following maxim — which I think is the quintessence of Taoist philosophy:

The Sage falls asleep not
because he ought to
Nor even because he wants to
But because he is sleepy.

This was an excerpt from an uber awesome book. What’s it got to do with Smeagol? Probably something metaphysical, I dunno. It’s summer and I’m enjoying my right to be an idiot. But anyhoo, as you can see, a new layout is up. Wordpress automatically upgraded on me (probably since I used Fantastico! in cPanel). My old theme was completely wonked out and I was too lazy to make one from scratch. So yay for pre-made layouts! I really like this one, and I’ll be keeping it for a while, especially since I modified my gallery to match it. I’ve just finished with the layout integration and made sure there was nothing buggy. And while I was at it, I added a few albums as well, including pictures from the AnimeNext convention.

I was disappointed that we couldn’t stay long (especially since we paid $40!). At least I got to take some snapshots. I got totally pwned in the gamer’s room. There’s like no place there for casual gamers. x__x

We had to go to our cousin’s baby shower that afternoon, and once the gift opening was done, I went upstairs and took a nap. I hadn’t slept at all that day, because my brain was being stupid. I’ve spent the next few days reclaiming it. I woke up at two-something today, which is the earliest I’ve woken up this week. I had two peanut butter sandwiches, which I reasoned as one counting for breakfast, and the other for lunch. >>

Then it was just killing time after, fiddling with wordpress and zenphoto, trying to sort kinks out. mmm. The Kinks. I think I’ll download a few of their songs before I go off and watch a movie.

Spring semester came and went, rather painfully. Classes were all right for the most part, except for English. The Professor was a total time waster, who’d stop the class for every little thing, and had a flair for the dramatic, to say the least. And was it bad that he gave my lowest grade? I’m majoring in his subject after all. I suppose I’ll just look at it as a little blip in my academic track, and hope next term will be better. I still need to sign up for one more class, and I was supposed to have my schedule done two months ago. I blame it on laziness.

The day after spring term ended my family and I were on our way to the Philippines. It’s been four years since our last visit, mostly because we needed that time to save up for airfare. Despite the fact that storm season had an early start, the trip was great. Met relatives, saw the sights, the usual vacation ditties. My family didn’t go to all the swanky tourist spots like Boracay’s white sandy beaches, Laguna’s hot springs, or the reefs in Palawan, but we did go to pretty good places. The Ocean Park Aquarium, the Star City amusement park, and several malls. Zomg, Philippines is like the mall capital of the world. For so many people living in poverty, it has some of the biggest malls I’ve ever seen. Several have bowling alleys, ice rinks, and even entire supermarkets. The Mall of Asia, in particular, is made up of several buildings. Craaaazy. I suppose they designed them to be one-stop centers, so people don’t have to travel all over to get what they want. Maybe American malls are different because people like to travel more here? Outlet shops and boutiques seem to be the prevalent thing.

What I really wanted to do though, but didn’t get to, was to spend a day strolling around the marketplace. Mother said I’d get killed by all the tricycles and motorbikes, but w/e. Those places seem more ‘real’ to me than all the fancy places we went to. That was where the people were, living and laughing despite the heat and their standard of living. I don’t think I’ve got the strength to go back and live like that again, but no one really knows for sure, right? Circumstances rule our lives more than we want to admit.

One such circumstance that happened was the tropical storm that blew over several cities, including the place that we were supposed to go to for a church gathering. There were wire poles toppled down, trees ripped apart, the works. Luckily it had passed just before we left to drive there, but the damage was clearly seen all over. The electricity didn’t work, and the place we stayed in was lucky enough to have a generator to power our room. Only ours though, so I count that as a lucky thing. As for the venue for church, we had it at an open plaza, since there was no use paying for the building that was going to be just as hot.

Despite the heat, and the smoke (people were burning down the fallen trees), the church event went well, and we took it as a sign to remember where we came from. None of us had started with air conditioners and arenas. Our church started from the very basics, teaching in people’s huts, out in the streets, even in the mountains. The hardships were intense, but that didn’t matter. But now, one little storm and people complain that there’s no cooling system for them to be comfy. I didn’t mind the heat, but my mother yakked about it constantly. Oh well. At least I didn’t get distracted from the service.

Just a day or so after the event, we were off, though we took a three-day stop in Hong Kong since our flight stopped over there anyway. Our hotel was very quiet, but real nice, and the next day we toured around, with one of mom’s friends guiding us. Hong Kong was amazing. It was really clean, and I loved how they didn’t fight their environment. There were trees everywhere, and hills jutting out right next to the high-rises. They built their city in harmony with the mountains, and it was wonderful to see.

The flight back to the States was uneventful, except for my sister throwing up in her pillow just before we landed. And after that, I started to reclaim all those weeks I was unable to laze about. I slept till the afternoon, I stared at Google for a few hours, slept some more, surfed the web, slept some more, eat, and repeat.

I’ve got a feeling this is going to be one relaxing summer~

A lot of things have happened, though when I think about it, the changes were all rather superficial. The things I really wanted to change remained pretty inert, which doesn’t sit well with me, seeing as the year is ending. I suppose there’s the redeeming power of new year resolutions, but I’ve decided to set some pretty realistic ones this time, and most of my resolutions are in regards to my character and habits. Thinking about how I handled my first semester as a college student, I was pretty pathetic and aside from the few moments of increased consciousness, I haven’t met personal expectations of growth.

Well, with December more than halfway done, there’s the new year to look forward to. Getting back to blogging (again! >__>), I realized that most of the other bloggers I read are predominantly female. Where are all the male bloggers out there? I know plenty of guys have blog sites, but most of them tend to be very specific–from tech geek to politico topics. They’re great and all, and I read plenty of them, but I find that there’s a lack of guys writing on personal topics. I suppose it has to do with the whole openness thing. Perspective posts and writing in general doesn’t seem to be a macho thing. In every writing class I’m in (not the required Composition courses, but actual Writing/Literature classes), females are the overwhelming majority. I don’t think it has to do with the male-to-female ratio, since in the hard sciences and mathematics, there are way more guys there. I suppose writing is just too soft? O_o?

Two out of three authors are female now, so I guess that extrapolates to the domain of online writers. Many of the personal domains seem to be operated by webmistresses, too. I’m not discounting women (in fact, I’m glad they’ve staked their voices as something prominent and worth listening to), but I’m rather discouraged that the general male population in this country feels being literary, and even being literate, is not worth it. To go from the great thinkers and writers of the Founding Fathers to the beer pong parties today, that seems to be a very steep degradation in just two and a half centuries.

Coming back home was rather disappointing. All that greeted me were tons of schoolwork that piled up while I was gone. Three informal, but still tedious, reports are due Tuesday, along with a minor research paper, which equal a big pain in the rear section. The citation formats are already annoying on their own, which compounds with the difficulty of the subject matter. Critiquing philosophical essays regarding the nature of literature is difficult due to the content involved. Way too many convoluted theories from people who could not get a single thought across. And of course, the awesome student that I am, I’ve left it all to the last minute.

I’ve put it off as much as I can, spending the Saturday at a Don Moen concert. It was a wonderful experiences, and while he only had two backup singers, he had the entire audience as his choir. There’s something captivating about having hundreds of voices blend into this one powerful force that sort of stirs you up from the inside. Infrasound effects, perhaps? Anyhoo, the next day I was over my cousin’s house because her Dad wanted a tribute feast for gramps. Very Filipino to center it on food.  As said by a speaker in Don Moen’s concert, we Filipinos are “always happy, always smiling, and always eating.” How true!

Anyways, Sunday was really nice with family around. While the adults gossiped, we played Guitar Hero (well, I watched while they played) and took pictures with Photo Booth. We also popped in Mr. Bean videos to pass the time until we has to go. I pretty much slept afterwards and got up to go to class today. My Writing Lab course is a total waste of time, but whatever. We’re usually out after thirty minutes so it’s only a slight inconvenience. I tried getting some of my work done in the library, but when you’re a professional procrastinator, it’s really difficult to focus. I surfed the web, read encyclopedias on every topic except what I was supposed to write on, browsed through magazines, and basically abandoned my papers.

It’s well into the afternoon and I have done completely nothing. I’ll wait a few more hours, until my body starts panicking and adrenaline kicks into overdrive. I decided I’ll go cold turkey on my slothfulness and quit lollygagging on school. After these papers, I should be caught up on my work and can take my classes more with better stride, providing a good base to start fresh.

Probably the best way to keep his memory alive is to enjoy life and to live it to the fullest, in the company of family and friends, which is probably what he wanted. He was never one to dwell on the sad things in life, so no matter how hard, I have to smile and be thankful. Blood of his blood, flesh of his flesh, life of his life… he’ll be in my heart always.

Deep thanks for the people who drove hundreds of miles to be with us on that day, those who took a break from their lives to pay their respects, and those who gave simple words of comfort and condolence.

To Grampa, you may not be able to read this anymore, but I know you understand:

I always felt like I cheated myself by not having spent as much time with you as I could, but the moments I did have with you are ones I wouldn’t trade for the world. You were the only one who traveled with me on my first plane ride to a new country and a new home. You were the one who always had time to be with me when everyone else was busy, like I was number one in your eyes, that everything I did, no matter how simple, seemed like the greatest things in the world. I only regret that I couldn’t reciprocate that same devotion to you as I distanced myself from those I used to hold dear.

We never talked much, but we smiled often, and those are much more precious to me than any word can describe. From goofing around the props in the mall to just walking in the streets, with a smile you made those times so amazing. That smile of yours made the bad things in life seem trivial, and I hope that I could learn to smile the same way.

I keep thinking on the “what-ifs” but you probably wouldn’t be happy with that. It’s just really hard to accept that you’re not here physically with us when you were so strong. Eighty-seven years old and you could probably take us all on without a sweat. It took a serious stroke to take you down, and despite the doctors saying you’d be gone in days, you fought to go on for four months, just to be able to give us time to say the things we needed to say and to bring us all together.

You’ve fought a good fight, and your rest is well deserved. There’s no more pain where you are now, so please watch over us, because the ones you’ve left behind are the ones that still have to continue living in this world, a world that rarely treats us kind. May we draw strength from your memory and have the courage to be like you.

I will never say goodbye because you’re never really gone. Part of you will always be with us. All that lives must die, passing through nature to eternity.

I love you, always.

Alas, poor world, what treasure hast thou lost!

I’ve increased the width a bit so it doesn’t look too squashed and to give my entries a little breathing room. I also changed the top banner because the brushes were way overboard, and poor Hakkai was getting lost in the commotion. Anywho, minor adjustments in the color palette, but I hope you guys don’t mind.

I also added a new layout for Autumn to give the season its due. It was a bit of a rush job and took no more than ten minutes to make and put up, simply because it’s just a simple theme. I also added a theme-changer plugin so you guys can toggle back and forth to which layout you’d rather see.

I just got an update that my MacBook is ready to ship out of Shangai (outsourcing, anyone? lol) and should be coming by next week with an ETA falling between the 16th and the 19th. Yay! I consider it as my reward for having to slug through college midterms.

[EDIT] Found out my grandfather passed away. On the way to Connecticut now for the funeral..

I dropped a course that most people consider important: English Comp 101. That course is supposed to be necessary as it prepares one for the standards of writing professors expect in college. However, I found the course way too tedious, and I later found out that I could place out of it since I passed by Advanced Placement test for English Literature and Composition. I wish I had received that letter earlier so I could have registered for another class, but now my course load is lighter and I may be able to use that extra time to focus on my other classes. Next semester, I’ll make sure to do something I should have done this term: enroll in an art or music class. Not having a medium to vent or express has made me irritable, because all I do is study and write. I’ve been cutting corners lately, relying on my remarkable ability to BS my way on papers and get top marks. Circumlocutions spiced with a few key words is usually enough to keep most teachers happy, except my philosophy teachers. They’re way too perceptive for their own good, so I actually have to do real work.

Anyhoo, I had my old debit card replaced with a new check card. The ATM caps have been raised, but I don’t take out money anymore as it’s not as safe as using the card itself. Also, the limit placed on debit use has been lifted, and straight away I did what I’d been planning for weeks: buy my MacBook Pro.

It’s coming anywhere between the 22nd to the 29th of October, and I’m eagerly counting the days. It’s a 2.2GHz 15″ notebook with 160GB of hard drive space and 2GB of memory. I do plan on upgrading to 4GB but purchasing them from Apple is ridiculously expensive, so I’ll probably get them from an online outlet. It’s a glossy screen, which means the colors will be richer, and many say that the screen is bright enough that glare isn’t an issue like with other glossy screens. I included iWork 08 in the package because the ads for Pages and Keynotes got me good. However, I plan on installing NeoOffice because I do need actual programs to do work. Pages is more of a page layout creator than a word processor, and so NeoOffice Writer should take the helm of professional, academic papers. Okay, I’m totally geeking over the specs which probably aren’t that great anyway, but that’s what happens when you’re smitten.

Off to work now on my draft for Creative Writing. I’m supposed to give in a working plot for a play, and I have no clue what to do. I’ll probably pull it out of my butt at the last minute, but whatever.

When Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran, arrived at Columbia University, tremendous protest arose from his presence within one of the nation’s most prestigious universities. Various people and newpapers (like the New York Daily News) have even gone as far to headline the visit with the headline: The Evil Has Landed.

Excuse me?

Ever since the start of the war on terror, and on Iraq, the civil liberties that Americans cherish have been increasingly denied to them. It comes to the point where dissent equals treason. By America’s standings at the moment, even Ben Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the nation, would be considered a traitor.

Sell not virtue to purchase wealth, nor Liberty to purchase power.

For the sake of military might and national security, freedoms of speech, press, and expression are curtailed. As another popular idiom goes,

Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.

America was founded on the basis of majority rule with regards to minority rights. To be able to express unpopular opinion is a keystone to upholding the ideals of this country.

In regards to President Ahmadinejad, the test of America’s ideals are put to the test. Sadly, the American people have failed. While Ahmadinejad’s opinions are extreme, going so far as to deny the Holocaust and that homosexuality does not exist in his country, and his views are easily opposed (which I do), his treatment during the Columbia visit should put America to shame. Ahmadinejad had every right to speak his views, just like every person is entitled to oppose him. However, to say that he had no business in speaking at the campus and that Columbia University made a grave error, that is the real treason, betraying the foundations of our rights to free speech.

What, then, is the scope of American free speech? Are we only free to say supportive praise toward the government? Are we free to bash other nations who we don’t like, but deny them the same platform to criticize us? Let us not forget that Ahmadinejad is an elected official, and is the symbol of a nation, a group of people. To have insulted him meant we insulted an entire group of people. And we wonder why our foreign relations are on the verge of collapse?

Ahmadinejad has many views I strongly oppose, and I am sure many are on the same boat. However, he is entitled to express his views as I am to mine. To silence unpopular voices is only one step away from silencing all voices. If America wishes to uphold its virtues, it’s leaders and its people must truly remember on what stones we built our nation on.

On Saturday, I went with a few of my friends to the Digital Life exhibition. Digital Life is the ultimate consumer technology, gaming, and entertainment event in the NYC area, and it is held annually in the Javits Center in Manhattan. As usual, it was filled with the uber smexxy computers, entertainment systems, PC games, and a plethora of tech jewels that will have any digi-geek swooning.

I’m not much of a gamer, so I didn’t pay much attention to the tournaments, although I did peruse along their booths because they were using the most wicked, tricked-out Dell XPS and Alienware machines. I also went old school to check on Mr. and Mrs. Pac-man, who were nice enough to take a picture with me. Popeye and Olive were also present, which was a bonus. There were NY Knicks cheerleaders present, but alas, I wasn’t able to take a photo-op with them.

We checked the DDR platform to watch the pros go at it, but what was really memorable was that someone proposed on the DDR stage! The girl was in total shock, but she said yes, gaining a huge cheer from everyone around. I suppose it isn’t that romantic compared to a candlelit dinner, but whatever. Having hundreds of people witness someone profess their love is pretty awesome, made more so by the fact that this was a tech expo.

We glanced at the new computers, like the new Gateway One and the Sony VAIO LT19U. They were nice to look at, and the pure thinness of the Sony almost had me wanting it. Unfortunately, they ran on windows. I’m not a windows hater, far from it, but MS always bundles tons of junk that sometimes takes longer to get rid of than actually setting up the computer. Also, I have a more than capable dell xps desktop to do the grunt work of multimedia and work files. What I want is a mobile notebook, and for that I’m set on Apple.

It was a shame Apple didn’t have a booth, but a number of exhibits used the new iMac and MacBook Pro to showcase their own products, like some mini pen-scanner that takes scanned documents and turns them into actual text in a word document. Video, image, and music editing programs also used Apple products.

However, the things my friends and I got carried away with were the toys. Robots were the in-thing this year, and the ones showcased were awesome. Also, there was this game from Hasbro called iList Music party, which tests how well you know your mp3 playlists. You plug your iPod or mp3 player and then have someone ask the questtons. There are questions like “Find a song with the word ’sweet’ in the lyrics” or “Find a song that has a keyboard solo.” First one to get it has the song played on the machine to let everyone hear it. I’m not explaining it very well, but it was really addicting. We played this game until we had to go home. lol

While certainly memorable, it wasn’t as good as previous years, as the booths didn’t entice me all that much. It may have been the fact that I’m easing away from Windows-based products after disappointment from Vista, or that 99% of everything there [aside from the Hasbro toy which I will definitely get at Target] is waaay out of my league [and monetary funds]. At least it was fun to play with stuff that I can only image having in my dreams.

I’ve been checking the apple website every day for the past month, ogling at every iPod, iMac, and MacBook image. It really has to be some disease. I suppose I’ve been stalking the site because I’m so close to having one of the smexxy products, and yet so far away.

I’ve been wanting to get the MacBook Pro for quite a while, but I thought it best to wait until college came around. The patience proved beneficial, because the new operating system came about and various new updates were made to the laptop. I’ve also been saving up, and now I have almost $3000USD in the bank. I’ve saved a chunk of it to pay for my college books, but the bulk of that money is going straight for the laptop. hehe…

The only thing stopping me is a piece of plastic… actually, make that two pieces. Apparently, my credit and debit cards have limits imposed on them, supposedly to help me manage my money. The limit is so aggravating. If I want to blow off my money, let me do it! For the credit card, I have to wait until the next statement comes in to see the actual amount I can use, before I make a call to plea for a lifting of the limit. For my debit card, however, I went to the bank today and had a new card issued. They are going to mail it within a week and supposedly, it won’t have any restrictions on purchases, but it will have a $600USD limit on ATM withdrawals. That’s fine, as I’d be crazy to be walking around with that much cash on hand.

While wanting to spend all that money for one product may seem frivolous, I’m actually quite frugal with my money. I’ve only used my credit card for texbooks and a pair of jeans, knowing I could pay the bill in full when the statement comes. I know the temptation a lot of students have when they first get their plastic, but money can’t just be pulled out of your butt. Large amounts of debt scares me, enough so that I make sure I save enough money before I make a purchase, to have the guarantee that my wants are within budget. It’s just getting a MacBook was on my wishlist for years, and now that I’m so close to having it, it makes me want to cry that all I can do for the moment is run my hands along the computer screen.

But it means having to ogle at the apple site for a few more weeks, until I get things straightened out and I can save up some more, so be it. The mac vs. pc commercials are worth watching over and over again. Good things come to those who wait, right?